My Baby

The vast majority...probably all of the posts that I've written have had some comment about or from Isaac. For good reason, of course, he talks! But, I have been blessed with another little beauty and this post is about her.

Lydia Hope is my long awaited second child. Lydia means "Beautiful Light" and Hope means "Confident Expectation". She IS a beautiful light in our family and the fruition of our confident expectation. She just turned 10 months old today. How is that possible? As I write the words "10 months old" I am honestly sort of stunned. I just stood here for a second unable to type anything else...how could my little baby be so BIG already? Where have the last 10 months gone? Of course, she's not THAT big yet...but, 10 months....she will turn one year old on Easter Sunday. (Isaac turned one on Thanksgiving - isn't that sweet - both of their firsts are on momentous holidays with great meaning).

This is going to be disjointed - I can tell already - because I am honestly standing here typing in kind of a daze. My sweet little miracle is already 10 months old! I say MIRACLE with complete conviction and without the "lightness" with which most people throw around that word. Lydia was my sixth pregnancy. I will go into the story of ALL my children in another post, but, Lydia was long waited for...after Isaac was born we had almost two years of trying before first being told that I would never get pregnant again because I had a sperm allergy. We went before the Elder's of our church and asked that they would anoint us with oil and pray for healing because I believed that EVERYTHING is possible with God. I got pregnant the very next month! We lost that little one at 10 weeks - she probably died just hours before our first ultrasound. I truly believe that her purpose was to point me to God's strength and remind me that NO ONE can tell me what God can't do...God CAN do EVERYTHING and I believe that that was our little Caitlin's purpose...(I hope that anyone reading this will understand that this conviction did not come immediately, but, MUCH MUCH later and after TREMENDOUS wrestling with God)....in the meantime I started seeing a Naturopath (a person who uses "natural" healing methods - this person is a Christian - I would not have gone to see her if she hadn't been). On our first meeting I told her the brief history of the world (as it related to me, of course), and after mentioning the sperm antibody thing and that the major clinic near us had told me I would never get pregnant again and that sperm antibody issues were incurable she said "that's just an allergy, we work with allergies all the time, that won't be a problem"...!!!!!!!!!!!! I could not believe it.....OK, to speed up the story....at the same time I was going through a Bible Study called "Believing God" by Beth Moore - TOTALLY life changing and faith building and amazing...I can't say enough good things....so, the combination of a much healthier body, being CURED of the sperm antibody issue, and finally being willing to BELIEVE GOD NO MATTER WHAT - Believing that HIS best for me was better than what I believed to be best for myself - Believing that HE LOVED ME NO MATTER WHAT - BELIEVING and trusting in His timing, His way, His plan........and obviously a WHOLE LOT of God saying..."OK, now is the time for this one!"....and Lydia was conceived!

We had a few scares early in the pregnancy, but, all in all it was a fun, happy, healthy, exciting, awesome pregnancy. I was able to deliver vaginally which was very exciting for me after Isaac's C-Section. My milk came in right away (again, exciting and relieving after so much drama trying to get my milk in after Isaac was born). Lydia was healthy and beautiful and perfect in every way.

She is my joy. She makes the whole family light up. She is the apple of her Daddy's eye and getting her to laugh or smile is the goal of ALL her brother's activities. She makes my heart hurt I love her so much.

She is also coming into her own and she is also a bit of a sassafras! :) She has a mind of her own and she isn't afraid to share. She often reminds me of how much God loves us - her newest thing when she is upset is to arch her back and throw her arms up and back when you pick her up (so that she sort of slides out of your arms)...I think God must smile and shake His head at us when we do the same thing to His rescuing us or removing us from something harmful - we clearly don't understand His motives and so we buck at Him....Lydia brings this to my mind often lately!

She was also just weaned as of today. I am very sad....and also sort of relieved...it's so hard to explain. Both of my babies weaned themselves much earlier than I would have liked them to. I would have nursed a LONG time if they had allowed me, but, they both just QUIT right around 10 months. Lydia has had teeth since she was 6 months old....hence, my relief at being done. But, today, I am sad. I miss the time when she was 3, 4, 5 months old and happy and content and loved to nurse and the pain from the beginning was over. She would just look up at me and pat my chest with her free hand. I miss all that. But, as is everything with mothering, I love this stage she's in right now, too. I am learning about LYDIA. Lydia the bigger baby, her personality, her opinions, her likes and dislikes. I am curious what she will be like when she is Isaac's age. I am curious about what kind of a big sister she will be someday in God's timing (because I am BELIEVING again for another baby). She is my sweet little light and I am sad today that we are done with our special connection.

At this very moment she is sleeping. My Lydia Hope. Praise God for you.

Nibbles...

I flat out cannot believe I am going to post this...post. I must enjoy humiliating myself.

My son Isaac was following me down the stairs the other day and he said, "When I grow up and I'm a Daddy I'm going to feed my baby myself."....I said that that sounded like a very good idea.

He continued, "But, I'm going to feed the baby with a bottle, not the way you do......My nibbles aren't as big as your nibbles."

There's really nothing I can add to that story.