Sunday, November 29, 2009

Two Years Ago Today

Two years ago today...November 29, 2007...we were officially logged into China's adoption system and put on their Wait List to adopt a baby girl. 2 years ago! We actually started the process almost three years ago when you figure in the decision to go forward with adoption again (this time international), meetings, appointments, paperwork, SLLLLOOOOOWWWWW mail systems all over our country and across the world, and the time it took to actually get logged into China's system.

We are still waiting for you little one! You have had a name (that we've never shared with anyone) for almost three years and you aren't even born yet! We thought that you would be our second and probably last child and by God's infinite and extravagently breathtaking mercy He has blessed us with two miracles since we started waiting for you - Lydia and Baby Girl due in just a couple weeks.

We anticipate that we will be on the wait list for at least another 12-18 months...but, who knows...nothing is constant or predictable...so....

We are still waiting for YOU, Little One in China. When will you be born? Have you already been concieved?...probably... When will we see your beautiful face for the first time and read all about you? When will we travel to get you? What will it feel like to hold you in my arms and hear your voice and smell your skin and kiss your face all for the first time? How old will your brother and sisters be when it is time for YOU to join YOUR family?

We have been praying for your birthmother (and father) as well. We can only imagine the full circumstances that will have alligned against her to force her to give you up. As she probably knows she is pregnant she is probably thrilled to feel you move and know you are alive and growing...and grieved in a way that can never be described in words at the knowledge that she must tear herself away from you with only her hopes and prayers for your future. She is loved by us as well and will be part of our prayers for the rest of our lives.

But, in ways we cannot comprehend nor trace out...

God planned US as a family before the beginning of time! He "matched" us before the creation of the Universe. So...for now...we are still waiting for you Little One in China.

We love you. We have loved you for years. You are OURS in all the ways that are important - you are ours in our prayers, our hearts, our dreams, our plans for the future, the way we picture our completed family...YOU are OURS and WE are YOUR MAMA and DADDY!

Sweet girl.

Friday, November 6, 2009

I Don't Even Know Where to Begin!

Seriously....I am so bad at this blog stuff! I write in these waves of several updates at a time and then don't update for 6 months at a time! I'm at the point now where I don't even know where to start with some sort of an update on my life....

I suppose the quick and dirty version is an update on my kids -
Isaac will turn 5...YES 5 in just a few weeks. So not possible. I can't handle it. I'm at the same point of denial that I was right before he turned one....there is NO WAY my baby is this old!

Lydia is almost 19 months old and her newest nickname is Lydzilla! She is a handful! She is sweet and cuddly and snuggly and kissy AND she likes to stomp like Godzilla through Isaac's structures and throw her food at the dog and smack Isaac's head if she's above him in someone's arms....and her world is about to be ROCKED.

Yes...Miracle #3 is on her way! (Seriously, if this doesn't prove that I SUCK at keeping a blog up-to-date...well, then nothing else possibly could!) We are expecting our third miracle baby in just 6 short weeks! She is due December 18....or probably Christmas Day with the way my babies evidently like to take their sweet time entering the world. We know her name - but, we don't share....so sorry. I was actually shopping at a fabric store a few weeks ago (having my first 24 hours ALL TO MYSELF in over 5 years!) and the girl behind the check-out counter was just so upset that I wouldn't tell her the baby's name! She said, "PLEASE, can't you just tell me! We are total strangers! You'll never see me again - I'll never see you again. I need to know. It's going to stress me out for the rest of the day." I said, "Nope. We don't tell. This will give you something to think about for the rest of the day and make your work day go faster." She begged me to at least tell her the first letter...which I refused....so she told me I was mean. Yep.

Here is my funny kid saying for the week. We were driving around doing errands the other day. Steve was with which makes this story so much funnier! Isaac was sitting in the back talking on a play cell phone. All of a sudden we hear, "Ah, yes Sir, I would wike a vaniwa watte and some cookies for the kids, please." (translation - for those of you that don't read "almost 5 year old speech that still lacks L's for the most part" - I would like a vanilla latte"). OK, Steve just looked at me and groaned and rolled his eyes - he thinks I buy myself a coffee EVERY DAY. In reality, I almost never do - so, I don't know where he gets that from. The thing that made me howl was that THAT ISN'T EVEN MY DRINK!!! My actual coffee drink, if I go to Starbucks is a Decaf latte with 2 pumps sugar-free vanilla 2 pumps sugar-free caramal - NOT with 1%, I want at least 2% or whole milk if it's available. SO.....my little man in the backseat is either familiar enough with the lingo to break it down to what is intelligible to him...OR, he's been out ordering his own special drink without me knowing! Either way...it's a hoot!

OK...so, I can't promise this will be updated again anytime soon. Hopefully though before the new baby turns 1!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Where the heck have I been?

Wow.....I dropped off the face of the earth for 3 months!

Not really....I'm still here doing all the same things I usually do, I have just evidently had nothing interesting to write about or report about my life. This, of course, isn't true and was the whole point of my blog in the first place. Seriously.

So....since I can't think of anything too hilarious or shocking I'll report a few of Isaac's newest prayers!

Isaac likes to be the "pray-er" at all meals lately. Some of his prayers are quite interesting.

"Come Lord Jesus,
be our guest,
of the United States of America
and to the Republic for which it stands.
One nation, under God, indivisible,
with Liberty and Justice for all.
And bless our food.
Amen."
and another...

"Jesus.
Keep us safe while we eat.
Bless us.
Give me what I want.
Amen."

If that one isn't a true picture into human nature I don't know what is!

I have been updating my reading list! I have read some GREAT books in the past several months - I highly recommend anything on my reading list!

I'm Back!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Yucky Hair

My hair sucks.

I have had basically the exact same hairstyle my whole life.

I did go through quite a perm phase for a while...but, basically I have had the same boring, shoulder-length-ish, no bangs, "natural" hair my whole life.

It sucks.

It's not thick, it's not thin. It's not curly, but it's not straight either.

I had it shorter for a while this summer - and I did actually like how it looked (gasp)...but, it was a total pain because I couldn't put it up or back or anything and let's face it...I have a 4 year old son and a baby...my hair needs to be out of my face.

Of course....it's not like you, the reader, can do anything about this. I don't even have one single picture of me posted in order for you to give me some constructive ideas about a positive change for my hair.

So....I'll just continue whining and you can be relieved to be at the end of this post.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

My Baby

The vast majority...probably all of the posts that I've written have had some comment about or from Isaac. For good reason, of course, he talks! But, I have been blessed with another little beauty and this post is about her.

Lydia Hope is my long awaited second child. Lydia means "Beautiful Light" and Hope means "Confident Expectation". She IS a beautiful light in our family and the fruition of our confident expectation. She just turned 10 months old today. How is that possible? As I write the words "10 months old" I am honestly sort of stunned. I just stood here for a second unable to type anything else...how could my little baby be so BIG already? Where have the last 10 months gone? Of course, she's not THAT big yet...but, 10 months....she will turn one year old on Easter Sunday. (Isaac turned one on Thanksgiving - isn't that sweet - both of their firsts are on momentous holidays with great meaning).

This is going to be disjointed - I can tell already - because I am honestly standing here typing in kind of a daze. My sweet little miracle is already 10 months old! I say MIRACLE with complete conviction and without the "lightness" with which most people throw around that word. Lydia was my sixth pregnancy. I will go into the story of ALL my children in another post, but, Lydia was long waited for...after Isaac was born we had almost two years of trying before first being told that I would never get pregnant again because I had a sperm allergy. We went before the Elder's of our church and asked that they would anoint us with oil and pray for healing because I believed that EVERYTHING is possible with God. I got pregnant the very next month! We lost that little one at 10 weeks - she probably died just hours before our first ultrasound. I truly believe that her purpose was to point me to God's strength and remind me that NO ONE can tell me what God can't do...God CAN do EVERYTHING and I believe that that was our little Caitlin's purpose...(I hope that anyone reading this will understand that this conviction did not come immediately, but, MUCH MUCH later and after TREMENDOUS wrestling with God)....in the meantime I started seeing a Naturopath (a person who uses "natural" healing methods - this person is a Christian - I would not have gone to see her if she hadn't been). On our first meeting I told her the brief history of the world (as it related to me, of course), and after mentioning the sperm antibody thing and that the major clinic near us had told me I would never get pregnant again and that sperm antibody issues were incurable she said "that's just an allergy, we work with allergies all the time, that won't be a problem"...!!!!!!!!!!!! I could not believe it.....OK, to speed up the story....at the same time I was going through a Bible Study called "Believing God" by Beth Moore - TOTALLY life changing and faith building and amazing...I can't say enough good things....so, the combination of a much healthier body, being CURED of the sperm antibody issue, and finally being willing to BELIEVE GOD NO MATTER WHAT - Believing that HIS best for me was better than what I believed to be best for myself - Believing that HE LOVED ME NO MATTER WHAT - BELIEVING and trusting in His timing, His way, His plan........and obviously a WHOLE LOT of God saying..."OK, now is the time for this one!"....and Lydia was conceived!

We had a few scares early in the pregnancy, but, all in all it was a fun, happy, healthy, exciting, awesome pregnancy. I was able to deliver vaginally which was very exciting for me after Isaac's C-Section. My milk came in right away (again, exciting and relieving after so much drama trying to get my milk in after Isaac was born). Lydia was healthy and beautiful and perfect in every way.

She is my joy. She makes the whole family light up. She is the apple of her Daddy's eye and getting her to laugh or smile is the goal of ALL her brother's activities. She makes my heart hurt I love her so much.

She is also coming into her own and she is also a bit of a sassafras! :) She has a mind of her own and she isn't afraid to share. She often reminds me of how much God loves us - her newest thing when she is upset is to arch her back and throw her arms up and back when you pick her up (so that she sort of slides out of your arms)...I think God must smile and shake His head at us when we do the same thing to His rescuing us or removing us from something harmful - we clearly don't understand His motives and so we buck at Him....Lydia brings this to my mind often lately!

She was also just weaned as of today. I am very sad....and also sort of relieved...it's so hard to explain. Both of my babies weaned themselves much earlier than I would have liked them to. I would have nursed a LONG time if they had allowed me, but, they both just QUIT right around 10 months. Lydia has had teeth since she was 6 months old....hence, my relief at being done. But, today, I am sad. I miss the time when she was 3, 4, 5 months old and happy and content and loved to nurse and the pain from the beginning was over. She would just look up at me and pat my chest with her free hand. I miss all that. But, as is everything with mothering, I love this stage she's in right now, too. I am learning about LYDIA. Lydia the bigger baby, her personality, her opinions, her likes and dislikes. I am curious what she will be like when she is Isaac's age. I am curious about what kind of a big sister she will be someday in God's timing (because I am BELIEVING again for another baby). She is my sweet little light and I am sad today that we are done with our special connection.

At this very moment she is sleeping. My Lydia Hope. Praise God for you.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Nibbles...

I flat out cannot believe I am going to post this...post. I must enjoy humiliating myself.

My son Isaac was following me down the stairs the other day and he said, "When I grow up and I'm a Daddy I'm going to feed my baby myself."....I said that that sounded like a very good idea.

He continued, "But, I'm going to feed the baby with a bottle, not the way you do......My nibbles aren't as big as your nibbles."

There's really nothing I can add to that story.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Can I play with my Daddy's hookers?

Yep....this little gem came out of the mouth of my little man. This is not a recent great quote - but, I just remembered it this morning and thought I should save it for posterity on my blog.

So....maybe six months ago now, I came downstairs after my shower and Isaac was enjoying his usual bowl of dry cereal and juice while watching cartoons and out of his mouth came, "Mama...can I play with my Daddy's hookers?"

Huh?

Yes....I am sure you can imagine the thoughts hurtling through my head.

"Isaac, what are you talking about? What "hookers"?"

"You know Mama! My Daddy's hookers!"

....I'm still trying to figure out WHAT he is talking about since I am firmly believing that he is not talking about any WHO's.....

"Isaac....can you explain to me what you are talking about? I don't understand what that is...."

"Mama! You know, my Daddy's hookers....you know, you just hold them like this and then you put things on them and hook them!".......he is pantomiming something and it finally occurs to me that he is talking about Daddy's HANGERS! Isaac likes to use HANGERS for all uses - guns, "hook-er" things, swords, shields, etc.

"Isaac, do you mean Daddy's hangers?"

A HUGE sigh of relief -"YES Mama! That's what I said! My Daddy's hooker-hanger things!"


Yes....that was all before 8:00am.


The following little gem happened at dinner tonight. We were eating my favorite meal of ALL TIME. Roast beef with potatoes and carrots and gravy and rolls and butter.....mmmmm....I just ate and it still sounds so good.

Anyways - we have been working on appropriate things coming out of Isaac's mouth (you aren't surprised are you?). Most dinner comments lately involve something like "I don't like that" relating to really anything at all.

So, before he even came to the table Steve coached him to only say nice things about the dinner that Mommy had worked hard to make.

Isaac responded by saying, "Mama, this food doesn't even smell bad!"....Steve and I looked at each other with that look of amusement that parents give each other and before we could coach Isaac on the possible inappropriateness of that "compliment" he followed it up with "Mama! This food is good! It doesn't even make me want to go blaaaahhh and spit it out on my plate!".

Yep. We're still working on compliments.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Team Jesus

Ok -my son is a hoot. I have, of course, mentioned this before. For better or worse, as a child growing up in a Christian home and in Cubbies and Sunday School he has learned that the answer to many questions is "Jesus!". As a result Jesus has been the topic of many funny conversations lately.

A few days ago Isaac asked, "Why do we have so much snow? We already have lots of snow? How come more is coming?".....before we could give any sort of response he answered himself....

"I think it must be Jesus' fault"!

Of course, we burst into laughter and then said..."Well, yes, I guess it is Jesus' fault, He must know that we need more snow."


Yesterday morning while eating breakfast Isaac asked, "Are fireflies on Jesus' team?"

.....I had NO IDEA how to answer that question. My mind started churning with the possible motive or underlying question that he was really trying to answer...then, I came to my right senses and remembered that he is a 4 year old boy and so all "team" related questions really come down to the Good Guys vs. the Bad Guys....which, I guess in an innocent theology is really what faith boils down to....so, I said...."well....Jesus made everything and He is a Good Guy and I guess fireflies are Good Guys so they must be on Jesus' team".

Isaac took another bite of eggs and then looked at me with the most serious of little boy looks and asked, "Mama...do you think Jesus would like me on His team?"

I almost cried. That was the most precious little question a 4 year old boy could ask. I said, "Isaac, Jesus created you and He loves you completely. I am certain that He wants you on His team."

Isaac answered, "Mama....would you pray and ask if Jesus wants me on His team?"

Again...almost tears. So I prayed out loud, "Jesus, Isaac wants to be on your team. I know how much you love Isaac and I know that You think he is great. Please help Isaac know that You want him on Your team."

Isaac took another bite and said, "Mama...Jesus just told me I can be on His team. I have to go get my sword and practice for fighting."

Could you just die.

That has to be one of THE most precious conversations I have ever had.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

My 34 for my 34th!

The time has come....I know you have all been waiting with eager expectation....the time has come to announce my 34 goals for my 34th year! I turn 34 years old tomorrow. Wow. 34. I am officially in my "mid-30's".

OK....continue....before I start hyperventilating.....

As I wrote in a previous entry, I was reading a friend's blog a few weeks ago and she had written 34 goals for her 34th year - something she has done for two years now. I thought that it was a great idea so I sat down and for the last few weeks I have been slowly compiling my list of 34 things I was to do/accomplish/succeed at during this next year of my life.

As I was looking over my list yesterday it occurred to me that NONE of my goals is a "help the people" kind of a goal. None of them is monumental, really. Some of them are directly related to my children...but, for the most part they are all about ME! I was standing in the shower thinking about this, trying to figure out if I have become shallow, or boring, or....I don't know what......and then the old phrase "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" popped into my head. THAT is clearly what all of my goals is about.

In the past few weeks or months I have been noticing (and so has my husband) an increasingly negative tone to the way I talk about myself - my appearance, my mothering ability, my ability to be a good wife, etc. Just negative and crabby - about myself. CLEARLY, I am in need of some taking care of, by myself! NOW - a disclaimer! My husband ROCKS! He is the most amazing, attentive, caring, selfless man I have ever met. He takes precious care of me. But, I haven't been doing enough for myself - and THAT is what these 34 are all about. If my overall goals in this life I've been given are to love my God with all my heart and mind and strength, and love and respect my husband, and love and raise my children in a way that (to the best of my ability and by God's grace) allows them to become Godly, generous, gentle, strong, industrious, brave, loyal, happy men and women......breathe....then I need to take care of myself so that there is more of me to give to all of them. Right?

So....without further ado (well...maybe just a little ado - for some of the goals I am going to "explain" my reasons - so that you don't think I'm a total gomer!)

My 34 Goals for my 34th Year

1. Have our family photo albums up to date by Christmas.

2. Make photo calendar with Steve's Johnson family

3. Organize and make recipe books with my Johnson family - to be handed out at Christmas

4. Memorize a Bible verse or passage a week - 52 total

5. Read a Psalm or Proverbs and a children's devotional at dinner nightly

6. Sew a quilt

7. Take a cooking class

8. Begin reading the Narnia series with Isaac

9. Make a new recipe for dinner 2 times a month

10. Buy a treadmill

11. Exercise 2x's / week
-this one requires an explanation - I used to work out religiously 5+ times a week - but, since significantly changing my diet I have lost weight and I don't need to exercise to be at a weight I am comfortable with - BUT, I know I am happier and feel better when I DO exercise, thus, the goal of "EXERCISE" 2x's a week - which is TOTALLY no problem during the summer, but, in Wisconsin during the winter, it's a tad difficult to just grab the kids and go for a 3 mile round trip walk to the park.....

12. Call my sister 2 times a month
- again, I love my sister and LOVE talking with her, but, she lives in Australia and it is tricky to call at the right time (15 hour time difference) - my evening is her early morning and she has two little kids, too - but, we don't talk enough - so, hopefully this will result in us talking at least once a week if she calls me just as often

13. Call my brother 2 times a month
- once more, love my brother, but, he's a guy and we don't chat it up as often as we should

14. Get rid of one piece of clothing each time I buy something new
- I was doing laundry yesterday and was APPALLED by the amount of clothing that 4 people can generate in just a few days - flat out sinful. So, I don't need any MORE things, just things I really love.

15. Have some sort of "teaching reading" time with Isaac 3 times a week

17. Write my Grandma and Grandpa once a month

18. Have a "date" with Isaac once a month

19. Memorize Hebrews 11

20. Memorize Deuteronomy 6:4-9

21. Memorize 1 Chronicles 29: 10-13 and teach this one to Isaac

22. Memorize Psalm 139

23. Put all loose recipes - especially those for natural/sweet savvy in a binder

24. Learn a new craft - crochet, thrown pottery or painting

25. Take a nap at least once a week

26. Go to the Art Studio and paint a new mug for myself

27. Get a massage

28. Compete in a 5K run

29. Read at least 8 books that I want to read

30. Go camping for 2 nights with my family

31. Have 24 hours alone, BY MYSELF, from 9am - 9am

32. Have 48 hours alone, WITH STEVE, from Friday evening to Sunday evening

33. Buy myself flowers at least once a month
- Steve buys me flowers OFTEN, but, these are things to do FOR MYSELF

34. Wake up at 6:00am (or whatever time Steve gets up on his early days) so I can spend some early time with him and then have alone time before the kids get up


So....that's them! I think I will type these out and post them on my fridge or put them with my devotional stuff - some way that they don't just become "that thing I did on my birthday".

If you have any other good ideas - maybe I'll add them to my list for my 35 for my 35th!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Mother of the Year....I think not!

Ok - so, I have been including a few, very few, of the choicest morsels of Isaac's language acquisition. There are so many more that I should include.....here are two gems.
Isaac - "Mom, can I have some strawberry milk, please?"
Me - "yes"
Isaac - "Mom, can I also have some of those kind of strawberries that you put in your mouth and roll around and chop up with your teeth?"
Me - "No, we don't have any strawberries"
Isaac - "Oh....can I have grapes?"

I don't know why - but, that cracks me up!

Here's another good one....that will hopefully offset the final quote that I'll be adding (the quote that will secure that I will NEVER be mother of the year)....but, first, a sweet quote.

Isaac - "Mommy, if I was lost would you go past robots to find me?
Me - "Yes!"
Isaac - "Past huge Robots?"
Me - "Yes!"
Isaac - "Past huge dinosaurs with their roaring mouths roaring and their huge claws to grab you? "
Me - "Yes! I would go past anything to find you!"
Isaac - "Are you sure? Even dragons?"
Me -"Yes, I would go past anything. I would always come find you."
Isaac - "Oh. Good."

Isn't that sweet.

Now, for "the" quote.....I will never be mother of the year....this is why.

Isaac asked to "play house" the other day. He has never asked to do this before so I was kind of shocked and excited! I asked him "How do we play? Who do I get to be?"

He responded...."ok, you be the girl and I'll be the TV"......WHAT? I am a stay-home mom, my whole life revolves around taking care of my children and taking care of my house and MY SON thinks that "playing house" is a girl and a TV!?!?!!

I quit.